Nostalgic for the Moments

This is a hard question. Music is really my life, so choosing only 10...gah.

I'll try.

1)Enjoy eet! This is from some Disney movie featuring some French guy whose name escapes me and that girl who played in the old Parent Trap and Pollyana. What was her name again? Anyway, the hokey accent and message of optimism never fail to cheer me up.

2) C'est La Vie by the PGSM crew. I know, nerdy, but this song always gives me a pick-me upper and the first song (barring Tentomusi no Sanba) I ever learned in Japanese.

3) These are the days. Great song about helping others and where we're eventually headed.

4) What Heaven Sees in You. This one never fails to make me cry. It's based on a painting called "Three Dresses," which depicts a blessing (erm...not sure what another equivalent to this is...First Communion? No, I think that's older...um...baptism? For babies? Ergh), a baptism (8 year old, maybe First Communion?), and a wedding dress. It basically talks about the stages of life and becoming the person that God sees in you. Wonderful.

5) Appalachian Snowfall. The only reason this is lower on my list is because I can't sing with it. But it is SO beautiul and the tempo moves wonderfully.

6) If I can't Love Her from Beauty and the Beast. So beautiful to sing along to.

7) Either One World or Someday by Celtic Women. Both wonderful to sing with, great messages.

8) Lord, Make Me an Instrument of Thy Peace. This was some "saint" or another's prayer, I think...maybe Paul? It is a beautiful piece my All-State choir sung and brings back great memories. It also is a good reminder to forget yourself and work for the Lord and others.

9) Go On or Disengagement by "Brooke Curtis". Shameless self-promotion, these are unfinished songs I wrote back in the day, but I still love them.

10) The Spirit of God. A beautiful hymn of the LDS church. I love it.

Wow, that wasn't so bad! Keep in mind these aren't ALL the songs I like, just the ones that come to mind as being songs I never skip past.

When I was a kid:

1) The Baby Busy Box Band by Joe Scruggs

2) ...

I really don't remember. I listened to a lot. I remember listening to a lot of Joe Scruggs and Aesop's Fables by the Smuthers (or something) Brothers. There was this song a group and I sang at the opening of a new wing of a hospital and it srsly drives me NUTS because it was beautiful and I loved it but I can't remember the whole tune or how it starts. The only part I remember is...

"...So many people helped us,
So we can find our way.
We thank you for the time that you take
Each and every day
To help us

(Chorus)
Follow our hearts,
And follow our dreams.
Never give up no matter
How hard it seems.

For we are the future,
And we were blessed to lead the way...
(And two more lines that I can't remember)"

Great, no? I think I remember this part because it hit me hard. I remember looking at my mom in the crowd (I may have been 10, maybe a little younger) and just bawling during that part because I was so grateful to have her as my mommy. I still am. Grateful, not bawling. Okay...well, maybe bawling a little....XD

( Who is my best friend and why? )
( Mini Drama )

( Seriously Sad News )

Yeah, doing this early today...I'll add to it if I actually think of something to say that's not from the prompt.


Wow, late notice. Probably still do the same thing I do now. I might spend a little more time going over emergency preparedness with my family...maybe spend a little more time with them (but I already spend a LOT of time with them). Other than that...just keep trying to live the best that I can. I'd probably be a little excited and a little nervous.

I realized this might seem a little weird if you don't understand my background. In brief, I believe that the "end of the world" will be characterized by a series of events--some catastrophic, others miraculous (which haven't happened yet to my knowledge, BTW). The wicked will be separated from the righteous (no I don't know the exact criteria for this, just how wicked is wicked and all that junk...I'll leave that to God). After that, the earth will "be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory," which means it will become a paradise where the righteous can live without fear for a while.

So I believe that as long as I honestly am doing my best to live as God would have me live, I don't have anything to be scared about. Could I die in one of the catastrophic events? Yes, I could. But if I do, I will be in "paradise" anyway, and so there's nothing to be afraid of.

Oh, yes: And I'd eat out a lot. Who knows if Apollo Burger and Pizza Hut will be around in paradise? XD

The one that comes to mind is the sheercover mineral makeup. Now, I didn't buy into the whole "you're skin will be absolutely flawless" thing they were touting, but I'd tried a lot of stuff to cover my "blemishes" (ie: zits, thank you mother nature who decided I should never grow out of acne) and undereye darkness so I figured why not? And truth be told, the makeup does pretty darned well. I would still be using it if it weren't for the price. In fact, I still have my foundation after 2 years and still use it! I'm always really wary of miraculous promises, though. If I figure I have the money to waste, I'll try it, but I don't count on anything too special happening. That way I don't get too upset when/if it turns out to be nothing special.

What else have I tried? Nothing for weight loss, I know better than that. A couple of things for acne before I finally figured out that noting was able to combat mother nature and my busy schedule and stress, and that there was no blanket solution that worked for everyone. Luckily I didn't buy into the "as seen on TV" proactive, it was just always too expensive.

There were a couple of things I did trials for back when I was stupid and did those survey sites that promise you money and never give you anything but junk...stuff like topical ointment and cd courses in Microsoft Office (which I really didn't need), but once I got hit a couple of times I stopped.

Oh, and this wasn't a "miraculous" promise, but I tried Netflix because they kept popping up. I would still be with them if I had the money. In fact, when I have the money I plan on doing it again. It was SO fantastic to have a DVD waiting for me in the mail when I got home from school at the end of the week. It was like Christmas every week, and so nice to have them send me what I wanted without me having to go to the rental place and look at them! And sending them back was just as easy as a walk to the mailbox! *sigh* Those were the days...I really miss it. XP

Anyway, that's it my friends! I figured I'd try to start writing in this a couple of times a week, and if I get writer's block (which is more often than not) I will be using these, so...yay!

Also: A big huge congratulations to chocomimi and talia_speaks ! chocomimi is a brand new mod on the sales community, I'm sure she'll do her best to keep us all safe and wish her non-overwhelmedness. talia_speaks is a brand new bride (LOL) and that is so fun! I wish her every happiness and...well...non-overwhelmedness! XD

( Halloween Craziness! )
( Peek into my psyche...reoccurring dream. )

( Really weird things about said dream... )

Okay, so this Saturday was the Anime con in the "big city!" Yay! I spent the night before having nightmares about missing petticoats and mismatched socks (and Zac Efron in there somewhere, probably the scariest part of all XD). I finally woke up at, like, 8. Spent the next 4 hours curling hair and ironing my dress. XD The fun stuff came later.

At 12, my best friend and I headed out to the con. The last time I drove to this city, we ended up very, very, VERY lost...so this time we took my dad's GPS. The trip went fine, we sang Disney songs and missed our exit...but who doesn't do that occasionally? Er...the exit thing, not the Disney songs. ANYWAY...

We FINALLY found parking...4 blocks away at a Sears. Well, it was good weather so we didn't mind walking. I got more and more excited as we neared the hotel. I was going to my first ever convention!!! *ttlexcitedsquee* So we found the registration desk, and all is going well...until it is discovered that they don't take credit. You see...all my best friend had was a credit card. I only had $40 cash total, so we were $10 short of her fee. Yay. Then I go into panic mode, because the ATM in the hotel is broken and what am I supposed to do, just leave her there? An hour and a half later we have walked to three different banks, none of which are open (Saturday dur hur) and none of which would take her credit card without a PIN number. So we headed back to the hotel, and she amazingly waited in the lobby while I did the panel with <lj user="chocomimi">. I wish we had had more time there, I didn't get ANY pictures because most of our time was spent walking to banks. We also left right after the panel, because I definitely couldn't go to any other events and just leave her sitting there. It wouldn't be fair. This whole time I felt pretty guilty, kept wondering if I had missed a "NO CREDIT/DEBIT" sign on the website. Guess what? I checked, there wasn't one. This isn't a rant, but when there's no note that cards aren't accepted...I pretty much assume that they are. Maybe that's not true for conventions, I wouldn't know. But it pretty much sucked, that part.

HOWEVER, it was fun walking around. I wasn't really interested in a lot of the panels, so...walking around was pretty much all their was to do. I've found cons are DEFINITELY more fun with a group. Also...at an anime con...it helps to know anime. I'm sure I would have gotten a kick out of seeing some of my favorite characters there...I did recognize some...but *bigshamefulsecret* I just don't watch anime that much. I don't have time. So it was interesting. It was fun telling people that I wasn't dressed AS anything (or AS a lolita), that I WAS a lolita...that was fun. XD I liked people taking my picture, although I'm sure most of them got my "dear-in-the-headlights-I-still-don't-know-how-to-pose" pose. XD

So we FINALLY met up with chocomimi, and YAY! The fun begins! She showed me her awesome powerpoint ahead of time and her Baby bag (which I want to steal. srsly.) and then we went in to the panel!

I was really really nervous at the beginning. I mean, I'm not a big talker to strangers. And I felt...a little...erm...I mean, I've only been wearing this for a YEAR. Actually, less! I mean, yes I researched it, but this time last year I hadn't even heard of Lolita! So I guess I felt a little awkward suddenly sort of speaking for the community in my state. But chocomimi; was great. She really made everyone feel at ease, including me. I just sort of tried to speak for myself and not give any misinformation (If I did, chocomimi, I'm sorry!). I got a few laughs, like for some reason when I said the book Lolita was "erm...rife with pedophilia...*blush*" (why was that funny? XD) and when I added "Wearing your petticoat on the OUTSIDE" to the list of loli no-nos (along with cat ears, shiny fabrics, bad lace, and too much skin...oh, and asking for brand at $50). I had an AMAZING time and really felt like I sort of knew what I was talking about! I loved to see so many people there, and would do it again in a heartbeat!!!

Afterwards, my best friend and I drove home. I had a little headache (keyed up loli+no food all day=headache), and my feet were KILLING me, but I had so much fun!

@chocomimi: Let me know when you get the pics. I can't wait to see them!

 

chocomimi </div> chocomimi

Can I just say how grateful I am for my grandmother?

For the past week, I have had a cold. Colds, for me, are really bad because they "activate" my semi-asthma/chronic bronchitis/we-doctors-don't-know-WHAT-that-is-so-we'll-just-give-you-Advair. So for the past week, I've had my whoop of a cough. Srsly. I am incapable of coughing little. When I cough, you can hear it across the house. This is fun, because of the germphobia that's around my campus lately. No one wants to be sick, especially not with swine flu. I get that. But it's really annoying when I have a stinking coughing fit and suddenly have a 5 foot "bubble" between me and the nearest human being. When people touch me and then have to sanitize their hands. In addition, my cough gets worse at night. I cough just about ALL. NIGHT. Which means all week, I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep a night, and my diaphragm is killing me.

Last night, I was preparing for my nightly 12-hour-coughing-fit (you know, take nyquil, have 3 types of cough drops handy, have water bottle, turn on humidifier, prop up pillows so you're sleeping vertically) and had the usual preliminary cough. Next thing I know, my grandmother is in my room. Granted, she was wearing a mask, but I understand. She said, "That's enough of that." She gave me some absolutely HORRID tasting vinegar water and proceeded to rub my throat with Tiger Balm (vicks substitute). My coughing stopped, and she sat by me and rubbed my back until I fell asleep again. The next time I woke and had a coughing fit, she was in doing the same thing. This wonderful, loving 70-and-a-half year old woman slept on the couch outside my room, waking periodically to come to my door and see if I was coughing. At the time, I was too sleep-deprived to protest, although in the morning I didn't want her to wake and muffled my coughing with my pillow.

But seriously? Thanks to her, though I'm not better, I woke up without a headache and stomachache for the first time in a week. I am so grateful for her willingness to care for me, and her love for me.

So here's to grandmothers! <333333333

Hello, everyone! I'd like you to meet BubbleGum (aka "Bubbles").

( Stuffed Animal Spotlight 1: Bubbles )
Bubbles is a stuffed Hippo who stands about 11" on four legs. She is made of soft, fuzzy material.

I got Bubbles when my family went to a family reunion in Oregon. I had some extra money burning a hole in my pocket, we went to Safeway, she was soft...voila! I walked out of safeway holding a stuffed hippo with a big shnozz and a bottle of sunflower seeds! ^_^ Later on, when our can broke down going through Nebraska AGAIN (what IS it with our cars and Nebraska?) I sewed up a small hole in her tummy while we waited at the hotel for repairs. The repairs took 3 DAYS, btw. XD</div>

Okay, on to other stuff. A-Z inventory of 9-13-09 (it's been a long time since I did one of these!):

Andrew: I got a letter from him yesterday! He wants me to make 3 more little books for a few of his friends. Shouldn't be too hard if I can find the time at work.
Books: Chegg finally sent me the right book, after all that Customer Service wrangling I had to do. It paid off!
Camera: I got a new camera! It has 12.1 megapixels, and it's PINK! ^_^
Dress: I found a few more dresses that I love, although their going to have to wait for my coat. I need that thing, it's getting to be cold!
Eating: Not regularly, once again. I need to find time to make my bento ahead of time, and healthily! I've been living off of frozen pizza. Yummy, but very unhealthy.
Face: Was almost clear. I got my trial of Gloskin skin brightener...I think I'm sending it back. It was so oily...it made my skin very shiny and didn't soak in, even after 3-4 hours! And this morning after using it I found 3 new pimples...I haven't had new pimples all week!
Graveyard: The family went to go see the unkept graveyard G is thinking of fixing up for his eagle project. We got to hike through somebody's yard and through a half mile of sagebrush and horse dung to get to it...I don't know if it's worth it. Highlight of the trip was the ginormous dog that came to meet us as we went through this person's yard (we had permission). He was up to my shoulder (I'm 5' 2") and such a cutie pie! He scared my brother and sister, but I've always love animals too much for my own good. XD
Homecoming: J got asked! We went dress shopping yesterday, and she picked out a beautiful dress that looks almost casual loli!
Illness: I have a cold. Stuffed up in head and nose. Yay.
Just sort of sitting around: what I'm doing right now.
Kindness: I'm a little tired of overly sensitive people. I mean, I'm sensitive. I like things nice, and clean. But when someone BAWWWs about people being mean because they didn't say everything was nice and perfect and actually give an honest opinion...that bothers me. Just because someone is honest doesn't mean they're unkind. Yes, there are kind and unkind ways to be honest ("I don't think that will work very well" vs "THATZ SUCH A STOOPID IDEA U STOOPID NOOB"), but don't expect people to walk on eggshells around you. It's not fair.
Light: One of my lightbulbs is burned out. Whoopee.
Makeup: I actually was pretty good at doing my makeup this week! Part of the take care of myself challenge, I guess. It's nice not to have to wear as much concealer, although I've begun to realize how many scars I have on my face.
New friends: I found a girl on campus who actually knows what loli is! She said she has friends who are way into it, and she wants to get into it, too. We exchanged names and numbers, and she actually lives sorta close to me! SQUEEEEE! <3
October plans: Just found out the grands might be leaving in October to visit cousins. I wish I could go, too!
Pen Pals: 3 new pen pals. 1 from UK, 1 from Texas who is going to be a teacher, and 1 from idk where. I like pen pals!
Quiet: I'm appreciating peace and quiet more than ever. Also, my left ear is stuffed up. So everything is all quiet and echoey.
Reading: Once again realizing how much I don't like reading textbooks. I love to read books, but something about textbooks makes the information go in one eye and our the other. Also, I have many overdue library books. XP
Shows I like: Eureka is good, I found another one called Warehouse 13 that is pretty interesting. Smallville is back on, but I've lost interest.
Teaching: Still not real confident in this. I'm hoping I'll develop some once I have my own classroom and don't have someone looking my shoulder ALL THE TIME.
Umbrella/Parasol: My new pink meta parasol arrived! It's so pretty and delicate! I'm embracing my love of pink rapidly. ^_^
Very much too tired and weird to think of somehting for this right now.
What is with all the n00bs?: I'm usually pretty patient with n00bs, but come on! If you're not even going to read the rules before you post...and have you even LOOKED at what people wear in the loli comm? Your cosplay satin mini with wings is NOT whole comm material. And your rant about mean lolis isn't either. Why are they all out today?
Xeniph_b: wow. Google search for "xeniph_b" was actually pretty accurate. I guess it's a pretty unique name!
Yawn: I'm tired, but I feel like I don't want to sleep. This is so annoying!
Zzzzzz...er, yeah. Wha?

I'm taking a friend's challenge.

Probably the most "iconic" event during my generation...or at least in my lifetime...was 9/11. I know, it was a pretty memorable day for everyone. And I hope I don't come out sounding...like something I'm not.

9/11 was...surreal. I was at an early-morning glee club rehearsal when they first turned on the TV. I was like, "What the heck, are we watching a movie or something?" I was expecting a breakaway to a hero and heroine singing a song that our club would be singing in the next concert. One of the girls just stared at me and said, "What, don't you watch the news?" Short answer: I don't.

So I sat and watched. I think I remember when the second plane first hit the second building. I mean...when I started watching, the first building had been hit, but it's different actually watching a plane go into this skyscraper. I never knew what the World Trade Centers were, I guess I still don't really know except they were in New Yord, very tall, had a lot of people...and they're gone now. I had the same feeling watching the plane go into the second tower as I did when they collapsed. Sort of a "No WAY." There was no way this was for real. This could NOT be happening. Things like this DIDN'T happen in my lifetime. Things like this were saved for the old, dogeared pages of history books. Things like this were neatly encapsulated in a paragraph with bold print detailing the name of the event and the date for students to memorize.

I think I remember that the towers collapsed before I left Glee club. The rest of the day was all a wash. We all sat in front of our TVs. And...This is where I'm going to sound totally insensitive...Part of me got sick of it. Part of me was like, "Okay. This happened hours ago. We're still watching the same footage, the news is saying the same things...can we move on?" It's like...I was tired of being depressed. I was shocked, I didn't know anyone from New York or in New York...And I was ready to be happy again. I was ready to DO something. I mean, all we were doing all day was sitting and staring at the TV. And I really wanted to go home. Home is safe. Home, I can go home and Mommy will hug me and maybe she won't even know what happened and maybe I won't tell her. At home, I can practice the piano (which I don't really like) and the violin and be glad I don't have homework without thinking about the reason. Home, I can watch old videos and lay my head in Mommy's lap and feel like the world is okay. But part of me had a fascination...was disappointed if I went into a classroom and the TV wasn't on. One teacher actually tried to teach something, I remember thinking, "Don't they know what's HAPPENED?" And I felt a sort of relief when they turned on the TV and the same old footage began to roll. But mostly I wanted to go home. I remember being upset with myself because I wasn't more upset, then telling myself I was in shock. I don't know if I was or I wasn't...maybe I'm just not empathic enough.

I also remember when George Bush announced that this would not be taken lightly. I remember the feeling of exultation everyone had when we went in and when we made a few things happen. That's why I get upset when people criticize him for going in. Was it the right move? I don't know. But I don't see him as a bad guy in the situation. He was a man trying to do his best in a situation where people wanted more than a man. Can you honestly imagine the reaction if Bush were to have said, "We know who did this, but...you know what? It's too much trouble to do anything about it. We're going to stay out of this one. It's much safer to leave it alone." Judging from what I've seen...anger and frustration would have been putting it lightly.

So that's what I remember.

Okay. That was supposed to be "dang."

First day of school. I survived! I did my hair in rag ringlets, which turned out so FANTASTIC! One in the front went weird, but I just pinned it back...I was so happy!

Work was really busy, everyone and their DOG wanted their packets bound. There were a bunch of people there who hadn't worked Spring/Summer (so we hadn't seen each other in a long time) and we were trying to talk in between helping people...ended up with a LOT of unfinished conversations. XP

I realized I'm going to be wearing my loli dresses to my movement and dance class...er...I might want to rethink that. But I really am wanting a new back-to-school outfit. I want something green...but there's so much else to buy first! I'm going to get the money eventually, for sure, but it's so hard to wait!

Um...I need to make up poems for my series codes...but my brain refuses to do it! Usually it's relatively cooperative...

That's why this is so random. My brain is dead.

Also, now I think I have everything together so I can sell my skirt and OP, but...I'm scared. I mean, I don't even have enough time and transportation to return my library books, much less go ship something. And I don't know HOW to ship anything! Where do I go, what do I say, what should I do...do I ask for insurance, what...Is there an online option? I'd like that...BLAH! And I want to give good service because I know I'd like that...but I'm not sure I can live up to it.

Okay, so feet are KILLING me after walking 5 miles in 90 degree weather for work...yeah, the stupid things I'll do for money!

I finally got a class I need added, and found out that the ONLY teacher for another is the one I hate, so I'll just have to suck it up and pretend to be a non-thinking record-n'-repeat robot for the semester. This means that I only have 1 more add/drop to do (switching days on a class). Also, my schedule is going to be great! No more getting up for class at 8 (except for Fridays)! I also got my books ordered and on their way, for 300 dollars less than I "should" be paying...this is a good day.

Oh, yeah, and the family is having spaghetti for dinner.

I felt oddly lonely at work today. EVERYONE there has either a sibling, a boyfriend, or a best friend working there now...except me. Lesa even has a best friend AND a boyfriend! Which means they all are engrossed in coversations and guess who gets to help the customer-with-2--boxes-full-of-odd-size-paper-she-wants-copied-with-every-2-pieces-stapled-who-doesn't-want-to-take-out-the-staples-herself? Yep, me! And it means I don't get to be good friends with anyone, because they already have friends there. I mean, Kara and I and Julia and I got to be GREAT friends! I miss them. Other than that, my job is really a FANTASTIC one. And Fred is so great. He was so concerned about me when I walked in with a purple face from the heat. He even bought me a water bottle!

Man, today my family is watching The Mountain of the Lord for Family Home Evening. Don't get me wrong, it's a good video full of history about the building of the Salt Lake Temple. It's amazing what those people did and sacrificed! But we've seen that movie, like, a million times, and it's really rather depressing. And scary. And I really don't want to watch it again.

*sigh*

Anyway, spaghetti time!

It seems I'm not good at learning from others' mistakes. XP

In my excitement about getting off a "good" rant, I forgot to give my dear friend the common courtesy that I would like to have myself. Instead of commenting on her journal first, I wrote an entry of my own. I would like to clarify that once again, this is an attitude, more than anything, that I was writing on. Her entry was simply the most recent example, as I saw it. So I apologize for not having come to her first and making my post seem like an attack solely on her. It was not intended to be such, merely to vent some frustrations that have been building up. I seem to have a real knack for making my posts seem personal! XP Tips for working on that, plz? I suppose my entry was also a tiny knee-jerk reaction, because the request about taking myself off a f-list if I'm judgemental for any reason for some reason made the whole entry feel like a personal attack, or preaching at me. I realize that this wasn't the case.

Whew, that was hard. I'm not good at swallowing pride, even a bit, but I like to think I'm open-minded and can admit when I'm wrong.

That being said, I'm going to quote from a very wise friend:

"But you know, it is my journal, and theoretically I can say whatever I want. Because its just that. MY JOURNAL. I use it as my sanctuary to express the feelings I wouldn’t be able to express out loud. Its a place where I know that the people who read my entries may offer me advice, opinions, etc. I shouldn’t have to feel like I have to censor myself for the sake of my readers (even though I TRY to do this anyway out of common courtesy)...So if I am angry enough, my blog entry will reflect my anger. I mean, isn’t that what a rant is all about? After all is said and done, blogging my feelings and frustrations helps me feel better. Its my way of arguing with the world and then getting over it. Because that’s exactly what happens. I get annoyed, angry or upset, and then I blog about it. After that, I feel like I have lifted a huge weight off my shoulders."

Well said, love.

Also: clarification. I agree with some of what my friend said, I thought I made that point in my rant, I guess not. The world is way hypercritical. Some people just take judgement too far or base it on shallow things. And that's wrong and very very frustrating. That's why I rarely post pictures, instead sending them to people I know. I suppose the main issue I take is when this attitude of non-judgmentalism makes you judgmental towards others, judging them to be too judgmental and cutting them out of your life solely based on that.

Anyway, bedtime and my grandmother is on me again about "chat rooms" and "internet friends." She thinks I'm losing my identity to the machine. For heaven's sakes, I just spent all day at school, got As on both finals, made you dinner, indexed all of our home videos, and I take an hour to write in my journal on the net and suddenly I'm addicted?

I told her she didn't know what she was talking about, but she says she knows better than I do and is just trying to be patient. *sigh* Sometimes I think she might as well be Amish, with all this "Technology is evil" boogah. She's a wonderful and patient person, but she has difficulty trying to change her mental framework once she decides something is bad.

Anyway, love lots! And happy entry tomorrow! (Or Saturday, you know me! ;D)

I apologize if this hurts anyones feelings. It's not on purpose.

I've been wishing I could make a nice ranty post like one of my friends. Here's my attempt, spawned from a recent explosion I read. If it falls short, whatever. The explosion I read had all to do with intolerance, and was prefaced by a request for anyone who was in any way intolerant to unfriend that person.

If they all did that, she'd end up with an empty friends list. And I have to wonder...does she WANT it that way?

The world is judgemental, okay? We all know that. We've all dealt with it. And guess what? EVERYONE has intolerances! No matter who it is, they ALL have one thing they just cannot get over! Sending out a general "anybody with any intolerance at all is evil" message...that just seems tacky to me. And it makes everything in the explosion that followed more personal. And not all intolerance is a bad thing! For example, I would not tolerate someone I know raping or being raped if I could help it, or murder, or child abuse. But for some people, that's their choice and people should just keep their big fat noses out of it. Some people draw the line at liking dogs. Some people at making fart jokes. And some people at other people who seem intolerant. Some people are into hating and persecuting anyone who doesn't fit into their narrow view of the world. Some people are into accepting absolutely everything, which means they end up...hating and persecuting anyone who doesn't fit into their idyllic narrow view of the world.

Don't get me wrong. I love people, and I have hope that some day people will find the right balance between intolerance and tolerance. But we all make a  million little judgements each day. As we walk down the street, we decide whether or not to get to know this person or that...and yes, it's probably based on appearance. I don't know about you, but I don't have time to stop and have a deep conversation with everyone in the universe so I can pick who I want to be better friends with based on anything else! For some people, being large is a problem, and might symbolise (to them) a lifestyle that they don't want to be around. Not for me, because my mother is a larger woman (she's not huge, no matter what she thinks) and has VERY low self-esteem about it. However, my little cousin who is about in 4th grade (I think) recently told me that she works out because she doesn't want a tummy when she's in high school, then went on to tell me about all the "fat" kids in her class who are "so bad." Side note: You're female, honey. You WILL get abdominal bulge, however slight. So you see, no matter what you do, people will have their predjudices.

I've been told I'm a bad person for believing there's a right and wrong. I've been told I'm evil for participating in "religion." I have intolerance for people who say "life isn't fair" and don't try any harder to make life better. I've been hounded ceaselessly for dressing modestly, in Lolita and out. I can't stand the phrase "because I said so" because it's not that hard to explain a decision. I've been teased for being "anorexic" because I stay underweight and am just not hungry sometimes. I hate it when people try to dismiss other peoples' suffering because "they're pathetic, they don't know what REAL hardship is." That may be true, but does that make them hurt much less? I've had a few of my stuffed animals (which I keep because each one carries a special family memory) ripped apart because someone said I had to "grow up now." I hate it when some people stomp all over another person in pursuit of their own "freedom." You're not the only person on the planet, you will affect other people so get over it and stick your freedom...well, you know. I've been called prissy, preppy, momma's girl, goody-two-shoes, blind follower, freedom-hater, bigot, racist (that last was when I refused to go out with a boy who kicked trash cans down the hall for fun...he wasn't my type, but of course that would HAVE to be beccause he's hispanic, wouldn't it)...My point is, WE'VE ALL BEEN THROUGH IT, and WE'VE ALL DONE IT.

That's the way the world is, and the feelings I keep hearing about how evil intolerant people are just seem...intolerant. There's just as much good in people as there is intolerance. The world can be a wonderful place, but every so often the intolerance will happen. Because that's the way we are. And to be frank, we've heard all about it, we all know about it, and we've all dealt with it.

So...to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite friends...who makes me smile twice for every time she makes me angry...

Plz to be getting over it kthxbai.

Probably happier post to be coming tomorrow.

Well, I've made a commitment to myself to write in my journal at least once a week. We'll see how long that lasts. ;D

Family has been here for 3 weeks, because Andrew was going on a mission! He went into the Missionary Training Centre on July 22nd. He's going to Paraguay. It's been great, because he and I were able to practice our Spanish on each other (although how could the other one tell if the one was saying something wrong? XD) and read the Libro de Mormon together. Parting was a little sad, but I'm excited for him and know he's doing a blessed work. Having family here was waaay fun, but also waaay hectic (imagine 5 adults living in the house, all with different plans, add in the 4 children--all under 3, and 3 of them boys-- and add in my family (6 more people) who were over here most of the time. LOTS of chaos. It's nice to be back to a more relaxed schedule, but I must admit I miss walking into the kitchen each morning and being heralded by a little boy with an angelic voice who is so glad I'm there. I also miss having a child to pick up and make funny faces at, and having them make funny faces back.

Anyway, this week my work in Spanish paid off. My teacher praised me highly, saying that I had made leaps and bounds of improvement, and that I could conceivably talk to a native speaker for a while at the point I was at. He also said that my work tutoring a girl in my class had made a significant difference, and thanked me. I like knowing that I can do good for others.

I've been working overtime at work because I want a new phone. So tiring! But I've got to be able to pay for what I want. I'm already worried that when I get out into the "real world" I'll forget my payments on things, because my memory is so bad. Seriously, I think it gets worse every day! At least 100 times a day, I put something down and then end up wandering through the shop/house/store wondering where the heck I put that. I think the object elves are out to get me. I forget names, dates, important assignments...A customer will tell me whether or not they want a receipt, and a second later I'll have forgotten whether they wanted it or not. Fantastic. I did use the time at work to get some things done, though. I made a Deseret Alphabet triple combination, two mini Preach my Gospels (English and Spanish), and a Spanish Himnos. They look pretty cool!

On Thursday I had another "OMGosh I'm getting old" moment as I went to another of my friends' wedding receptions. I feel like an old maid, LOL! Silly, huh? Mommy, C, J and I went to a cooking class and had some FANTASTIC fried rice. Then we had big drama because there was a show on tv (one of the many makeover shows) where a mom wanted her gothy daughter  to get a makeover, the daughter was resisting...big arguments ensue, with cameras there to catch every minute. And the conversation started to sound disturbingly familiar, with the daughter saying: "I'm an adult, I can wear what I want," "This is me, you just don't like me," "I don't care if people stare," and other such stuff I've said to my mom when we discuss loli. My mom was looking at me significantly the whole time. I'm sorry, but I saw quite a few differences between me and that girl, ok? 1) My standards are set HIGHER than the norm of society. Hers are set lower. 2) She refused to "give up her individuality" for even a minute to go out with her mom, making her mom feel uncomfy with her. I, on the other hand, realized that I care about my family's comfort more than I do about wearing what I want every second. I mean, isn't that what love is, caring about the other person more? 3) Okay, religion alert. I've prayed about this issue. I asked Heavenly Father to let me know if this style was a problem, and I don't feel it is. If, in the future, this changes...then I'll change too. I know I won't be able to wear loli on my mission, and I'm fine with that. I'll still be me no matter what I wear. Anyway, Mommy and I talked. Turns out she's still upset about that play "I" wrote (my class group wrote it together) about a girl whose friends and family try to change her and make her miserable. She thinks our relationship is deteriorating. In other words, to her, "I would like to consider your advice and then make MY OWN decisions"="I HATE U AND NEVR WANT 2 C U AGAIN UR STOOPID!" I reassured her that I hadn't meant to embarass her with the play and that our relationship was fantastic. It's true. I love her so much, and I love to spend time with her. It's just that we're both strong-willed and opinionated. So when our opinions don't happen to agree...explosions tend to occur. It happens. But at least for me, it usually blows over pretty quickly. Anyway, so yeah. Much drama that night.

Now some sort of sad news. Our neighbors were driving home last night, and they got in an accident. They have, like, 8 kids, the youngest girl is younger than 5. Apparently they got in a big pileup. Miraculously, most of the kids just needed some stitches, and the mom and dad were okay. But the littlest girl was on the side of the car hit the worst. She's in critical condition, and lost her pinky and some of her left hand. They think they might be able to reattach things. Grandma and I have been helping as much as we can, but I'm not sure how much we can to. Prayers would be appreciated.

LunaSapphire is going really nicely, despite the break to figure things out. I got a new ning site and am playing around with it, having SO much fun interacting with other people!

Anyway, that's me! See ya!

Just got started on my Loli on Campus article to realize...I have no IDEA how to write an article!

*gonk*

I've never taken a writing class. The closest I've even been to published was RPing on Gaia (can u say PATHETIC?). So I'm feeling a little bleh. But I want to do it, so I'll do my best.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY want a picture of someone in a school uniform incorporating Loli. I've heard a few people do it, but I have yet to get a picture!

Anyway, I'll keep plugging away. Ciao!

*Loli on campus

*Loli at church?

*Loli at home

*Loli at work

*Recipes

*Room decorating (silhouettes), the Victorian room

*How to hand wash clothes

*Which hairdos go best with which hair accessories?

*SportzLoli

So I'll just try.

( The Long of It )

So to sum up: Her husband was lied to repeatedly by his company, causing him to lose money, and then is laid off. Even though Zi is working, the money from her paycheck goes towards paying part of bills and food, not mortgage. Her husband gets a new job and his paychecks go to mortgage. Bills come fully due, and husband has to cancel a mortgage payment to pay bills. Even though he calls them back promptly to make the payment, he is told he must wait until they decide what to do about him. They decide to foreclose unless he can pay a certain amount to keep his home.

This girl is a dear friend of mine, and my heart aches to hear what her little family is going through. I keep thinking I must be able to do something, yet I am only a college student with financial problems of my own. I can afford to give a little, but not enough.

So I turn to you, my dear friends. Since you know me, you know how rare it is that I get involved in this sort of thing. Heck, I don't even forward emails without checking them out first! ;D But this is serious. PLEASE, if you can, give a little. All this money goes directly to Zi and her family. I hope that even if we don't get enough to keep them in their house, we can do what we can to ease the burden for them. Perhaps our donations can pay for groceries or pay a bit of an outstanding bill. My friends, I know you to be empathic people, and I don't know what more to say. Every little bit helps, and please keep them in your prayers.

Please go to http://ebztimes.blogspot.com/ (my old blog) and click the donate button to help out. I couldn't get the donate button to work on here.

Brian Regan's "Epitome of Hyperbole" is FANTASTIC! I love him!

Anyway. Started Spanish 101 today. It's ALL in Spanish. Now, I don't mind, because I already know quite a bit of Spanish and can understand what I'm expected to do. But those poor kids around me? I spend half the time we're supposed to be doing the activity explaining what the heck we're supposed to do! But it's fun, and hopefully I'll be able to help my little "flock" get up to snuff in time for the tests each week. I already have the first 3 weeks of homework done.

Work was fun. We were super busy because everyone and their DOG wanted their textbooks bound (the university has switched to unbound textbooks more and more...l think it's so they have an excuse not to buy them back). In addition, we had 100 or more little books some lady was doing for Young Women's Camp...some sort of scripture study guide. We're talking lamination, cutting out the lamination, collating...LOTS of hand work. And the manager wanted to not charge them for hand work AND give them a discount on copies. That's where I put my foot down. I said, "F, look. It's already been a half hour for two of us, and we aren't even halfway done. That's a 20 dollar discount as of RIGHT NOW, if you don't charge for hand labor. Now, either we charge for hand labor or we don't give a discount on the copies." He chose not to give a discount on the copies (the lesser evil by FAR). Anyway. I feel like I have to look out for the business, as sometimes he's just a bit too generous. I mean honestly, if they want to waste their stake budget on something none of these girls is going to keep after Young Women's Camp...more power to them.

So. Then I came home, did the first 3 weeks of Spanish homework. did laundry. My dresses are SO frustrating to iron, and I'm really worried about ruining them and trying to get them to look nice. I mean they looked AMAZING when they were new! The brown one is fine and wrinkle-free (although it seemed to turn the water a little browny when I washed it...must remember to wash seperately in cold water), but the blue one...I spent an hour ironing it, and I'm still not satisfied. Is there some sort of trick to this? My blouses are fine, they're easy...but all those RUFFLES! XD

Then went to Institute. Studied the end of Hebrews, which was fantastic. Found out that the Hebrews apparently have/had a tense called "prophetic perfect." Basically it was a sort of combination past tense and future tense, so that one could talk about things that were to come as if they had already happened. Utter confidence. So cool!

Anyway. Then I came home and read with family, ate a banana split (YAY!) and am going to bed.

Oh. I promised myself I'd write this down in my journal, so here goes:
( 1st Time in the Temple ) 
Good night!

This week was an interesting one. Let's see if I can actually remember anything I did...

( MONDAY )

( TUESDAY )
( WEDNESDAY )
( THURSDAY )

( FRIDAY )

( SATURDAY )

( SUNDAY )